Red Velvet Brownies: the dessert that single-handedly began the same-sex marriage movement.

For my first recipe, I have to post my favorite. I’ll be honest – there are more calories in this than deleterious asian drivers in San Francisco. Sorry I’m not sorry.

This is by far the most delicious thing I make and it can be yours too.

Guaranteed to get you a hot boyfriend.

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Red Velvet Brownies with White Chocolate Buttercream Frosting

Source: Photo and Adapted Recipe from Follow Our Footprints Blog

Brownies Ingredients:

1. 1/2 cup (8tbsp) unsalted butter (room temp)
2. 1 & 1/2 cups granulated sugar
3. 2 large eggs (room temp)
4. 2 tsp pure vanilla extract
5. 3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
6. 2 oz red food coloring
7. 1 & 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
8. 1/4 tsp salt

White Chocolate Buttercream/Cream Cheese Frosting Ingredients:

1. 1/4 cup (4tbsp) unsalted butter (room temp)
2. 1 & 1/4 cups powdered sugar
3. 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
4. 2 oz white chocolate, melted
5. 1/4 cup cream cheese

To make the brownies:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Butter and flour an 8″x8″ baking pan.
3. Beat together the sugar and butter until light and fluffy (looks like puffy snow).
4. Add eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition.
5. Stir in 2 teaspoons of vanilla.
6. Add sifted cocoa and food coloring.
7. Beat together until one uniform color.
8. Add flour and salt and mix until combined.
9. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 30-35 mins (or until a toothpick comes out clean).
10. Allow brownies to cool completely on a baking rack, about 45-60 mins.

For prettier brownies, remove the entire batch from the pan and cut into bars, THEN frost and serve.

To make the frosting:

1. Cream butter until soft and fluffy.
2. Beat in vanilla.
3. Add in powdered sugar, 1/4 cup at a time (allow the sugar to mix in before adding the next 1/4 cup).
4. Once all powdered sugar added, beat for 30 seconds and scrape down sides of the bowl.
5. Add in the melted white chocolate (be sure to melt on a very low temperature or else the chocolate will burn).
6. Add in the cream cheese and beat until incorporated.

This is an extremely rich frosting, but if you would like, 1 tbsp of heavy whipping cream can be added.

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I hope that you all go out and try this recipe.

Mark’s Review:

4.5/5 Rainbows 

Have you ever had an experience that made you question your life choices? Witnessed a horrifying car accident and decided you needed to hug your children more often? Stood on the edge of the Grand Canyon at sunset and realized that you are just an insignificant part of this incredible and vast universe? Well, all that bullshit is for pussies that read The Secret and make dream boards. These brownies aren’t for pussies.

If you are susceptible to these kinds of revelations, I cannot in good conscience recommend to you Matthew’s Red Velvet Brownies. I am not a religious person, but upon eating my first brownie, I decided that every religion in the world has it wrong. The only Truth in this crazy universe comes from the book of Matthew (I believe it is chapter 21, verse 69), “not eating chocolate saturated carbs covered in cream cheese frosting is an abomination, and those who don’t have an affinity for it shall be put to death.”

I have, what some may call, a bit of a sweet tooth, so I know a thing or two about delicious and decadent desserts. God truly must have smiled when he looked down on the world and said “let there be Matthew’s Red Velvet Brownies”. I think it was right after he said “Ryan Reynolds will have a body that every gay man on the face of the earth will starve themselves for.” But fuck the body of Ryan Reynolds, I don’t care if I look like Anna Nicole Smith before trim spa as long as I have my hubby and his red velvet brownies.

On a scale from 0 to Ru Paul these are definitely a Liberace.

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Let us know what you think! 🙂